Dealing with rejection is something we need to learn in business development if we want to be successful. Here some tips to become better at it!If you’re reading this article you probably felt an unpleasant shiver while stumbling upon the word rejection. And in the end, who doesn’t?Anyone experienced it to a certain extent. We don’t lack examples.Our colleagues at work might not be cooperative, our suggestions might often end up in a basket. Or maybe our boss might refuse to award us with an increase even when we truly deserve it.We might be refused by whom we love or care about. It can happen when we desire to bring our relationship to the next step or often during the first approach when we wish to start one.It doesn’t actually matter the frame we give to rejection. What really matters instead is the one important lesson to take into account:
Rejection affects us only to the extent we personally allow it.
I won’t try to explain what rejection is neither I will give tips on how to overcome it. This is up to each one of us.The humble idea behind is simply to give you a set of examples to help you deal with rejection in a more personal and efficient way.Let’s get it started!
Start recognize the two triggers of the fear of rejection
The first step into dealing with rejection is to be able to recognize what triggers our fear of it.When starting something new it can happen to underestimate the fact that we might encounter a barrier at a certain point.So when it happens we are frightened. However, the important lesson here is that the fact we have to deal with rejection is actually a good sign.
We are moving forward.
The solution to dealing with rejection is basically changing our behavior in front of it.However, just knowing you have to change your behavior doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy to do it. Especially because rejection touches us so deep inside.In the end, the way we respond to rejection is often automatic and unconscious. And this is also the reason why our answer to rejection is quite difficult to control.What often happens is that we let 2 behaviors dominate the way we deal with rejection.We either think we’re not good enough at something specific or that we don’t have enough knowledge.It’s normal to think you’re not good at something, especially if you had some negative experiences with bad bosses, teachers or family.But these negatives thoughts can have a big impact on how we make decisions, till the point to even prevent our actions.We might even arrive at the point of suffering even before having to deal with rejection.This is so common. Just think about last time you tried to find a job. You send 100 CVs and we receive 100 No.To send the CV n. 101 feels quite bitter, we might delay or even not sending it at all for a while.
Rule number 1 in dealing with rejection: learn to recognize these emotions and rationalize them.
Learn to manage your expectations and adapt your attitude
A common mistake everyone does is thinking that other people do not experience the same as we do. We tend to believe we are the only ones dealing with rejection.This is definitely not true, as even the most successful people, had at some point to face rejections.The lesson you have to learn here is that what really makes the difference, is the way you prepare for things and the attitude you have when negative things happen.In the first case, you might prepare for a rejection in the exact moment you start having too high expectations.It’s easy to fall into this trap as when getting ready for something important, we naturally tend to create expectations on how things will evolve.But when you make things bigger than what they are, you’re actually preparing to be disappointed.Even when things go well, they still don’t satisfy you because they don’t perfectly match the dreams you created in your mind.Breaking news: reality rarely matches dreams. The sooner you learn to manage your expectations, the sooner you’ll be able to deal with rejection.Right after you do that, you have to make sure you approach opportunities with a positive attitude.Positive thinking by itself is not what makes things go well. What does the magic is the fact that because you have a more open mindset, you’re gonna act differently.You might also want to read: How to stay motivated in Business Development?Let’s take an example. You are in a bar and you see an attractive person.Now, if you’re in your negative attitude you might think you’re not good enough to speak to that person. And even if you get confident, you will still screw it up when you finally approach this person.In a way, you kind of prepared yourself to be doomed simply because you were not confident enough and you let your emotions take over.
Rule number 2 in dealing with rejection: master your expectations and keep a positive attitude
Make it personal and enjoy the ride
Now, if you google “dealing with rejection” you’ll find plenty of tips on how to do it.But the truth is that every situation is unique and the key to success is to personalize the way you handle rejection.Start by yourself and appreciate the success you already achieved. If you are accomplished, why should this change after you get rejected?The real issue is to be mindful and comfortable with yourself.If you accept that you don’t have control over everything, you will manage better your expectations, you’ll be more positive and embrace rejection.Changing your mindset or attitude will also allow you to enjoy better the challenge you are experiencing and you will see rejection just as one of the possible outcomes.Another important thing to keep in mind is that every case is unique and it’s always a chance to improve yourself.Let’s say you get the 10th negative answer to your pitch. Most likely the reasons why these people won’t buy from you are not always the same.Some might already have an alternative solution, some others might simply not need it, some others might just not be able to afford it.The point is, you need to learn that not every rejection is the same and in all cases. After all, every “no” to a call is one less to get the one great opportunity you’re looking for.
Rule number 3 in dealing with rejection: know yourself and enjoy the ride to success.
Bonus tip: Learn from others’ failures
The first time I had the exam to get my motorbike license I failed. I remember only two very tiny mistakes, but apparently important enough to prevent my success.I was very mad. After spending my savings to pay for everything, I failed my exam just because the examiner was in a bad mood.At least, these were my thoughts on the spot.It was the beginning of the summer: at that time I went back to visit my family. I was allowed to drive for practicing, so one day I decided to just go out for a ride.I used the motorbike of my father, the one I always liked and wanted and I stayed out for hours.The second time I had to pass the exam I made double the mistakes. I was literally confusing right and left sometimes, I was feeling very nervous.I was already prepared for the second rejection when the examiner asked me to stop and approach the parking.He told me he noticed I was a bit nervous, but generally speaking, I had the good concept of how to be in the traffic. Approved.There is no real lesson out of this personal example of rejection. Except inspiring you to never give up and start dealing with rejection in a more mature way.Related article: How I discovered Business Development from my failure.
Because after all, rejection is never the end, but a chance to get closer to your goals!
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